So, the end of another year rapidly approaches and I just remember that I have a blog! Considering that I tend to have a fairly decent memory, forgetting something as fundamental as having a blog is pretty sad. That said, I have remembered and now strive to update it.
So, did we all have a good Christmas? Family get together, remembering why you dont speak to a sibling or parent? Great, isnt it? This year, my father tried to poison me – not unusual in itself, but I would expect a man of his calibre to suceed!! The fact that he didnt is a testament to the fact that he is getting old and lacking in determination, but 10/10 for effort – well done dad!!
I got a book by Jeremy Clarkeson for a gift. Not bad, I thought – I do like some of Mr Clarkeson’s rants, but the damn thing is so heavy!!! I tried reading it in the bath and my arms nearly fell off!! Paper not good enough for your books then, Clarkeson? "I cant have my books made of paper!! I am special so I will use the finest lead infused papyrus!" Damn his eyes!
I was going to say that I have a lot in common with Mr Clarkeson, but then thought, I have a lot in common with a lot of things! I breathe (so do most mammals that want to go on living), I eat (ditto), I even have a laugh occasionally (erm, got me there). So, as well as having a lot in common with most mammals, I have a few things in common with Clarkeson. I like cars – fast cars – expensive cars. Unlike Clarkeson, however, I dont have the money to afford them or get paid insane amounts to test drive them and then ridicule them on TV. I would sacrifice several virgins (would have to go abroad for them, none to be found in the UK) for the opportunity!! I am tall, but unlike Clarkeson, I still have a great physique. He, on the other hand, has let the ravages of time take advantage of him – yay, one for me! Ok, so that was pretty pathetic, but, noone said there were rules to one-upmanship!!
I have to admit that he is funny. His attitude on the French is hilarious – being English, we tend to be a little bias on the subject. I suppose after 700 years we should let sleeping dogs lie, but, dammit, its so much fun!
Enough about him, this is starting to sound like a Clarkeson shrine, and lets face it, he shines his own damn lamp so brightly he doesnt need help from a pleb like me. So, I’ll move on….
… to what, I have no idea!
The New Year rapidly approaches and we all make our resolutions, which to be honest, the only thing really guarenteed is that we will break them by the 2nd of January. The past year has been eventful; laptop blew up (thanks to Chris from Solarcomputers for sorting me out with this really nice replacement and feck you Norwich Union for not letting me claim on my insurance after 20 years of no claims!), had a great threesome (heh, that made some of you look twice!) and didnt get deployed for a change! Next year should be fun…..