Old Mans Car


Driving to my friend’s house for New Year (as you do), rather comfortably in my Mercedes when I started thinking.  Now, for those of you that know me, thinking isn’t something I tend to do a great deal, we pay professionals for that sort of thing!  If us ordinary people start doing it, who knows where it will lead!! Anyway, I started thinking why everyone says I have an ‘Old Mans’ car.  Why do people say that a Mercedes is an Old Mans car?

Is it because it takes us, the mere plebs (second time I’ve used that word recently – guess who has been watching Rome!) a lifetime to afford one – hence you are an old man (or woman) by the time you get one?

Lets face it, the Mercedes I have will potter along at 40 mph (I know that Jeremy Clarkeson loves people that drive at 40 mph, especially on national limit roads!!), but it will guzzle the fuel and then you deserved to be beaten to an inch of your life with the rear wheel!  I mean, the damn thing has over 300 bhp, and yes, I know its heavy, but that still a fair bit of power.  It likes to be taken roughly and allowed to let its hair down – nice long roads just get eaten up.  Its fantastic.  So, its limited to 155 mph, does 0-60 in less time than a gnats fart and looks GORGEOUS, so why is it an old mans car???

For those of you who are curious, the Mercedes CL500 (above isnt mine) is my little baby!!

The funniest thing is, though, when you get guys pulling up along side expecting me to race em off the line.  Now remember, I am an ordinary person with an ordinary salary that saved a long time for this car, not thinking of the consequences… soooo, DO YOU REALLY expect me to drag race you??  Do you know how much the tyres cost???  How much fuel this guzzling little bastid uses??  No way!!  It is very pretty to look at, has more cow inside than Jersey has on its entire island, is fast and very comfortable, but I would sell it in a heartbeat!!  It costs a fortune to run – something I just didnt think about.  Proves how dumb yours truely is.

At the end of the day, though, I do have a sweet car, and like any lady, it is always going to be expensive!!

I’ll go now and wait for all the feminist hate mail :p


2 thoughts on “Old Mans Car

  1. I think you will find that the word is spelt "  Bastard"  . I would have expected a person of your intellect to know that….but there is that Clarkson thing…seperated at birth.  I have said for many years now that whenever I watch him, he reminds me of you.  Oh and you lost your bet by the way…I have will power.

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